Wednesday, 2 September 2015

Please, Dance on Tables. And other lessons learnt.

The last time I left you I think I was cha cha-ing around my living room to a naughty naughties anthem, cursing my two left feet, or rather my one broken left foot, outwardly optimistic that things could only get better (90's floor fillers are soooo much better than their successors) but  inwardly panicking that my story was more akin to a Celine Dion power ballad. 

Fast forward, what, some 18months, and I'm sat on board a plane somewhere over Greenland, in pursuit of a new stamp to add to my passport's collection. 
Purpose of visit; fortunately not to contest a dance competition. 
More a matter of business. 
Or pleasure? 
I never know what box to tick when faced with that question at customs. 

And what, I'm sure some of you are wondering, is the purpose of this spontaneous need to update the world, or the handful of people that happen upon my blog, after such a long leave of absence? If I'm honest, I've watched a couple of films (50 shades. Followed by the latest Disney release. Ironic coupling), my partner in crime is selfishly snoozing the hours away instead of keeping me entertained, and I still have 2 hours to kill until they feed me again. 

Voila! The perfect recipe for some random ramblings from moi. Or not..?!

Either way I'll start, or continue as I appear to have already started, by enlightening you with some valuable lessons learnt over the past year and a half.

Lesson 1
Discarding crutches and dancing on tables in your air cast boot is good rehab. Have your physio write it into your programme.

Lesson 2
Removing said boot and allowing someone to drink a pint from it is not good. Especially when you still have several weeks left in your now very beery, very damp boot. 

Lesson 3
Double swim days are never a good idea. Don't be fooled. Or at least proceed with caution.

Lesson 4
Plan aqua jogging session to coincide with the '90's Club Classic's Water Aerobics' class. Rhythm really is a dancer. 

Lesson 5
Running is hard. So hard. Breathlessness, nausea and an overwhelming need to sit down during the first few months of the 'Return to Run' schedule are to be expected. Other side effects include self pity parties and irrational outbursts at the long suffering, but ever patient, coach.

Lesson 6
Running will get easier. 

Lesson 7 
Learn from your mistakes. Put your wetsuit in your sodding box.

Lesson 8
Triathlon is hard. So hard. Breathlessness, nausea and an overwhelming need to sit down during the first few races are to be expected. Other side effects include self pity parties and irrational outbursts at the long suffering, but ever patient, coach.

Lesson 9
Triathlon won't get easier. But it will be more enjoyable when you remember how. 

Lesson 10
Rio is cool. I'd like to go again. 

Insightful I'm sure you'll agree. Useful for anyone other than myself? Maybe not. Unfortunately lessons are better learnt through personal experience, rather than through the experience of others. I'm sure you'll still start and an injury full of enthusiasm for double swimming and aqua jogging during 'Family Fun Hour'. You'll start back running and wonder why 10km hasn't been categorised as an 'ultra marathon' yet. You'll contact trading standards and insist false advertising after you ease yourself back into racing with a 'sprint' triathlon. Hell, you probably won't even put your wetsuit in the damn box. 

I do however, hope you maintain a sense of humor and perspective, learn your own valuable lessons, and remember that patience is indeed an important virtue. Because if you take anything from my experience, it's that the road might be long and winding, but it will lead to that door, eventually (thank the Beatles, namely Paul, for that pearl). 

Oh and one other thing. Please, dance on tables. 

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